29 truths from my 29th year

29 truths from my 29th year


January 1st, 2012  marks the beginning of the 29th year of my life. In 29 years, I have made more than my fair share of mistakes, I have cried more than my fair share of tears, but I have also learned more than my fair share about life, happiness, and who I am as a person. Some of these I will explain, others are explained in and of itself.


1. Being happy is easier than people make it out to be. While I firmly believe happiness requires some effort and cooperation on your own part, it really isn't as hard as it's made out to be. Stop. Breathe. Take in a moment that would otherwise be ordinary. Appreciate the little moments in life we take for granted. In this, you find happiness. 


2. I'm more capable than I thought. This needs little explanation for those who have known me in this past year. I am in no way trying to say anything other than...refer to 
#3, #4, #5, #8, and #29. Because I, alone, did not do anything. 


3. When you want to make it work, you will find a way to make it work. 'I can't' and 'It's impossible' are words we should remove from our vocabulary completely. Don't limit yourself to preconceived ideals. 


4. I'm not alone in my struggle. Accepting that I am not alone is not something that came natural to me. It's something that took some difficult reflection to actually understand. Once I did, I felt more connected to the human race as a whole than ever before. 


5. Never, ever, ever, ever give up.


6. True friends don't come along often, and they can be lost quicker than the blink of an eye. 


7. Alone does not mean lonely. There was a time in my life...and by 'a time' I mean, 20 something years of my life, that I thought being alone was a negative thing. I viewed being single, being in solitude, being by myself as something of an embarrassment. In fact, I filled many years with people and things I knew were not for me just to avoid being alone. 
If I'm being honest, alone is the most comforting word to me these days. Alone means time to reflect, it means time to be grateful for that which fills the rest of my moments in life. 


8. Jump, and the net will appear. I have been in more than a few situations in life where I have had no idea how I would pull it off. As scary as it *always* has been...jumping first has led to more victories than standing still and pondering. 


9. The biggest gifts come in the smallest packages. As a single woman, I could never have fathomed being happy at 3 am if someone woke me from my much needed slumber. As a single woman, I could list 100 things I wanted for myself. As a single woman I could find something exciting to do on a Saturday night. As a Mother, none of that matters. When my baby boy wakes me up at 3 am to simply tell me he 'wuvs me bigger than all the airplanes.' I can't help but smile. When my son needs something, you bet I will buy it. (Ok, so he might not technically 'need' all the toys at Target, but he is so damn cute, I can't say no.) My idea of a gift is wrapped up in that little man I'm raising. That 4 foot small package is all I need. 


10. Karma. It exists. 


11. Love. It also exists.


12. Time always goes on...and it goes by way too quickly. Ask the new widow mourning her loss. Ask the Mother sending her child off to college. Ask the Father shaking his only son's hand as he goes off to fight for our country. Ask...me. Time. There just isn't enough of it, and the time there is left, is wasted too often. 


13. Those who don't get it, don't get that they don't get it. 


14. Letting go doesn't always mean you have given up, sometimes it means you accept the other person has. 
I have tried to hold on, I have tried to force the puzzle piece into place where it didn't belong. I have tried to accommodate. I have tried to settle. In the end, the only thing that was able to bring about happiness was letting go.


15. Pain = experience. The lessons I learned the quickest and that have impacted me most, have been the ones that come with the price of hurt...for me or because of me. 


16. It is possible to change. If you accept it, change is possible. 


17. Love yourself, love your strengths, your beauty, and your flaws. Perfection is unobtainable. We all know this. Yet so much time is spent trying to be, or convince others that we are perfect. Perfect is boring. Perfection has not been accomplished by any human thus far. I don't want to be perfect, I want to be happy. 


18. Love others, love their strengths, their beauty, and their flaws. Never expect more from others that you, yourself, are able to do and be. 


19. The individual voice *does* matter! I love to talk, surprise! I have a knack for connecting with people. There are times when I think to myself it doesn't matter what I say, it doesn't make a difference...but then I remember the times when someone, somewhere was influenced by something I said. Maybe something I never intended to have influence anyone. The truth is, you never know when something you have to say may be exactly what someone else needs to hear. Speak.


20. Rarely does anyone succeed the first time.


21. No matter what it is you do, do it with all you have, to the best of your abilities, and you will find your passion. I don't care if you are a janitor, a fast food worker, a congressman, a nurse, a receptionist. If you go into your job and you do it to the best of your ability, you will find happiness in your work. You will make a difference in your work. 


22. Less is more. Live within your means. If you can't afford the newest, hottest gadget, car, house, etc. Don't buy it! Be grateful for what you have.


23. Speaking of gratitude...be thankful! How rich would our lives be if we would just stop and be thankful for that which we already have? To the man who complains he doesn't make enough money...look at the man on the street wishing he had your house. To the woman who curses her extra pounds...look at those going to bed hungry tonight. To the child obsessing about the latest video game...look at the child wishing he had a coat to keep him warm. It's a matter of perspective. It is easy to complain we don't have enough, and maybe it isn't until you have nothing that you realize how rich life can be with just a few simple things. Health, clothing, a warm bed. Let us be grateful for what we have.


24. Fear. We all have it. Sometimes the best motivator in life is fear. It's what you choose to do with that fear that will define you. 


25. Forgiveness doesn't always mean forgiveness. Let me explain. Forgiveness is a tricky part of life, given too soon and it isn't genuine, given too late and the moment has passed to recover. But the fact is, if you want to move forward, forgiveness is key. Saying 'I'm sorry.' Doesn't mean everything is magically okay, it means you will try your hardest to never make the mistake again. Saying 'I forgive you.' Doesn't mean you are no longer hurt, it means you will do your best to get over the hurt you feel and mend your relationship. Allow forgiveness. Allow time to heal. 


26. When they say you can't...especially when they say you can't; DO! There are some people in this life who feel more superior simply because someone lets themselves feel less superior to them. Especially *because* they say you are not capable...do it!


27. It is okay to fall down. Just get back up. 


28. Disconnect. And connect. Don't get me wrong, I as much as the next, love Facebook, Google, my android device and anything else that allows me to connect to my friends. However, when I look back on the people...on the stories...on the inspiration I have seen, none of it was on Facebook. None of these stories were emailed to me. No one texted me something that has dramatically changed my life. But I have had brief encounters with strangers who shared a part of their life that has changed me. I have seen the struggle in another humans' eyes...and it effected me. I have witnessed love. I have witnessed defeat. I have witnessed victory. The eyes of a stranger can tell you more than a lifetime of tweets and pokes.


29. Family will *ALWAYS* be the most important thing. There are several different types of families in my life. When I say family, of course, I refer primarily to the family I was born into and have blood ties too. However, that doesn't mean I don't also have special people in my life who are family to me, regardless of relation. 
Family has gotten me through trials I may have never gotten through if not for them. Family has been my support, my rock, my guidance, my everything at times. If family is so important, why then, is it not number 1 on my list? The truth is, the final truth, none of the 28 truths before this would have existed if not for family. It is because of you all that I am the person I am today.